Hopes and Dreams
by MetelFox
Summary: After the battle at the Collector homeworld, Shepard can't sleep. Why? Because of his quarian crewmate Tali'Zorah. Will he dare to approach her? Constructive criticism welcome. Incomplete, for now, but will be done soon.
1. Chapter 1

Hopes and Dreams

Shepard

Shepard shifted as he lay on the large, comfortable double bed in the Captain's cabin of the Normandy. Usually, the soft, high thread count sheets had the power to easily send him to sleep. But not today, it seemed. His body was still trying to get over the effects of adrenalin in his system, adrenalin produced during the Suicide mission on the Collector homeworld, barely four hours ago.

His room was lit up only by the dim glow of his fish tank, which was empty, as it always had been. Shepard had never figured himself to be capable of taking care of pets. His only real pet had been a cat by the name of Finn, which he had taken care of aboard the Marathon, the frigate aboard which he had spent most of his childhood. All remnants of happier times.

He shut his eyes tightly as he tried to get to sleep, but none would come. His mind was simply too active for that. Instead, Shepard turned his gaze to the large window above his bed, lit up with streaks of red, blue and gold from the Normandy's FTL drive systems as it cut its way through the dark void of space. They had no particular destination. Shepard was simply trying to pass the time while repairs to the Normandy were being carried out.

Rolling over, Shepard revisited his memories of his time aboard the Collector homeworld. There had been the intense battle with the Oculus within the Normandy's cargo hold, just before their crash landing on the Collector base. They had fought their way through the base until they had reached the conversion chamber. There, Shepard and his team had been forced to watch in impotent horror and fury as a colonist was disintegrated right in front of their eyes, and although they had managed to rescue his crew Shepard felt as if a little bit of himself had died for every human who had perished in that chamber.

Then there had been the battle through the hordes of seeker swarms, and there had been his decision to destroy the homeworld to keep it out of the Illusive Man's untrustworthy hands. Shepard could remember the moment of unadulterated fear that had coursed through his body when the human-reaper had pulled itself out of the depths, when he had begun shooting at its eyes, destroying it with the help of Garrus and…

(Tali)

The headache Shepard had been slowly gaining suddenly flared into bright existence. Wincing at the pain, Shepard shook his head as his mind was invariably filled with thoughts of Tali, of her voice, her laugh, her slim curvy body and long bowed legs, with that cute little third toe…

Shepard tried to give himself a harsh dose of reality.

(Face it my man, she's a Quarian, she is beyond your reach.)

(Is she?)

Shepard sighed. Sleep, which had always been difficult before, was now a definite impossibility.

Tali

Tali's legs ached. It wasn't a slight twinge, but rather, a full on burning sensation that told, no, screamed at her that she had been standing up for way too long, and she took that as her cue to retire for the night. She had spent the whole day conducting repairs to the beleaguered Normandy and she was beat. Reaching out her hand, she flicked the switch and turned of the holographic display in front of her. She then turned towards the other two engineers, Kenneth Donnelly and Gabriella Daniels.

`Kenneth, I'm leaving for today. Don't you guys want to take a break? `

Kenneth then responded in his typical Scottish brogue, which Tali had always found entertaining.

`No Tali, we aren't tired. `

Tali's curiosity was piqued. Both Kenneth and Gabriella had been working as long as she had, if not longer.

`Aren't your feet tired Donnelly? Mine are. `

Kenneth grinned. `Guess there is an advantage to straight legs, Tali. `

Tali scowled, which rapidly turned into a smile as Gabriella delivered a solid smack to Kenneth's right bicep.

`Ow! Gabby! `

Shaking her head, Tali bade the pair goodbye as she headed towards the elevator. As she waited for the elevator to arrive, Tali allowed her mind to drift. She began to think about what had happened four and a half hours ago. She thought about the incredible battle at the Collector base. How she had fought beside Garrus and the Commander, had rescued the crew. She recalled destroying the towering human-reaper with nothing more than several rifles and a shotgun.

(Guess they're not as invulnerable as they seem to be.)

Tali could remember running with all her strength, strength she could barely summon up, as the base disintegrated around them. She and Garrus had made it to the Normandy`s airlock first, and when she turned around, she could see Shepard as he sprinted with all his might, and she remembered telling him that he had to _come on_.

(Why.)

(What?)

(Why did you tell him to hurry?)

(He's my Commander! And my friend.)

(Is he?) The little voice in her head said. (Perhaps he is more than that. I know how you feel about him. I know your feelings. Don't deny them.)

`Do you want to get on or not? I'm hungry! ` Grunt's harsh voice snapped her out of her reverie.

`Oh, I'm sorry. ` Tali quickly scrambled into the cab, mindful not to bump into the hulking figure of Grunt.

`Damn Quarians. ` Grunt muttered as he boarded the elevator.

But Tali was too occupied to even respond. There was only one sentence in her mind.

(Don't deny your feelings. Don't deny Shepard.)

The Mess hall of the Normandy was unusually quiet. Most of the crewmembers were either busy making repairs to the Normandy or recovering from their ordeal aboard the Collector base. The only people at the Mess hall were Doctor Chakwas and

(Shepard)

Tali's heart skipped a beat.

The Commander was busy picking at what appeared to be a tray of military rations. The food was either unappetizing or Shepard wasn't hungry, for Shepard was simply picking at his food without much interest. Instead, he appeared to be deep in thought.

Smiling inside her mask, Tali took the seat opposite him.

`Come on, I'm sure Mess Sergeant Gardner's food isn't that bad. `

Shepard started slightly and looked up. A broad grin crossed his face as he saw Tali.

`How would you know? You've never tasted his food before. `

Tali continued smiling, although she doubted Shepard could see it.

`And I'm glad for that fact. `

Tali walked over to the Cryo-unit beside Mess Sergeant Gardner and retrieved a tube of nutrient paste. She did not realize that Shepard's eyes were following her all the way. Strolling back to her seat, she twisted the cap off the tube before attaching it to a small tube underneath her helmet. Then, she began sucking up the paste. It wasn't particularly tasty, but the Quarians were a practical people, and nutrition took precedence over taste. But Tali had barely drawn in two mouthfuls of the white paste before she realized that Shepard had stopped eating and was staring at her. She paused, mid-suck.

`Er… Shepard? Are you okay? `

Shepard started slightly and blinked. Then he smiled sheepishly.

`No, everything is fine Tali. I was just thinking, um, how cute you look when you are eating that nutrient paste…`

The words were out before he could stop them. Tali began to blush furiously beneath her mask and stared at Shepard, who had begun to fidget nervously.

`Um…I know what you mean, I mean, I wouldn't know, but er…Thanks Shepard. ` Tali wrung her hands nervously. She noticed Mess Sergeant Gardner inching closer in an attempt to listen in to their conversation and decided to end it before it got out of hand. Gathering up the tube of nutrient paste, she quickly nodded at Shepard before scrambling out of the Mess hall as fast as he bowed legs would allow her.

Shepard

For once, the great Commander Shepard was at a loss for words. The military rations, which had always been unappetizing, now looked absolutely disgusting. Giving up, Shepard threw down his fork on the table with a clang, causing Doctor Chakwas to look up from the datapad she had been reading. He turned to Mess Sergeant Gardner, who was now looking away and whistling to himself.

(Did I seriously just try to flirt with her?)

(Yeah, and see how that ended.)

(I lived through the bloody Skyllian Blitz and now I can't even talk to Tali without blowing myself up!)

(I told you, she is out of your reach!)

(No! I'm not ready to believe that! Not yet. I haven't forgotten what Kelly said when Tali first came aboard.)

(That might not mean anything.)

(You're right. It might not. But then again, it could. I`m going to talk to Garrus, see what he has to say. I hear he is quite the ladies man.)

(It's your ass, not mine.)

Tali

Tali could hardly breathe as she stumbled into the Normandy elevator and punched the button for the engineering deck. In an attempt to calm herself down she took several long sucks on the almost-empty nutrient tube before tucking it into one of her many suit pockets. Her mind was a confused mass of thoughts and she felt faint.

(Keelah! I can't believe he just said that!)

(I told you he liked you. Aren't you going to do anything about it?)

(I don't know. I just don't know. I'm going down to engineering. I need some time to think about this.)

Privately, Tali couldn't deny that she was rather glad that Shepard had made what seemed like an attempt at a flirt. She had always liked Shepard, and he was her closest friend. She could remember how he had arrived in the nick of time to save her from Saren's men and how he had held her close and comforted her upon the discovery of her father's body, how he had defended her innocence during her trial and succeeded. She was glad that Shepard liked her, for she had always thought that this sort of thing was impossible between them, and the incident in the Mess hall had certainly been a good sign.

Tali suppressed a giggle as she thought about such things and the lift made its merry way down.

Garrus

Garrus bit back a curse as the screen in front of him displayed `CALIBRATION FAILURE`. Furious, he smacked his three-fingered hand onto the keyboard, causing the screen to flicker slightly, and seized a steaming cup full of grey liquid, which was the turian version of coffee. Taking a brief sip, which immediately relaxed him, Garrus stared at the still-flickering screen as he thought about what to do. He did not hear the sound of the door of the Main Battery sliding open, until he felt a hand on his shoulder, causing him to jump and spill his drink all over himself.

(And I thought my hearing was good too.)

Garrus, infuriated, turned around to give whoever it was a tongue lashing, until he realized that the person standing behind him was none other than Shepard. He looked worried.

`I'm so sorry, Garrus. I didn't mean to… well, you know. `

Garrus shook his head as he hunted around for some paper towels. Personally, he didn't mind Shepard being here. After all, Shepard had saved his life on Omega, and possibly his soul, when he had stopped him from killing Sidonis.

`Spirits, Shepard. Haven't you heard of knocking? `

`Yes I have, but that's not the point. I have some things I want to talk to you about. It's really important, really hush-hush. You know how it is. `

Garrus leaned back against the side wall of the Main battery and fixed Shepard with a beady eye.

`I'm listening…`

Shepard licked his lips. His throat suddenly felt very dry. Hastily, he began to recount his sorry tale of his failed attempt in the Mess hall followed by Tali's response. When Shepard had talked about the incident in the Mess hall, Garrus had snorted. Then sniggered. And by the end of Shepard's tale Garrus was flat out clutching his sides and laughing.

Shepard scowled and crossed his arms.

`You know _Garrus_, when I came here, I expected something a little more than you laughing at me. `

Garrus continued howling with laughter.

Shepard's scowl deepened.

`Oi Garrus. Stoppit. `

`I can`t believe you Shepard! ` snorted Garrus as he tried to regain his breath. `You can give some poor asari back on Illium romantic advice about her relationship with a krogan, and you can`t even flirt with Tali without blowing yourself up! What, did I become your love guru or something? `

Shepard frowned. `Garrus, be serious. I really do need your help. `

Garrus folded his arms. `And what makes you think I can help you? `

`Ever since you told me about the, um, ` Shepard paused ``sparing session` aboard your previous ship. You know, reach and flexibility? ` Shepard wiggled his fingers at Garrus.

Garrus winced. `Yeah, about that. I just want to let you know that she came onto me. `

Shepard waved his hand impatiently. `I don't care about that. All I want you to do is to tell me what I should do right now. `

Garrus tapped a talon thoughtfully against his chin, and considered what he had to say. He knew that Tali had always liked Shepard, but had previously revealed to Garrus that she didn`t think her dream would ever come true. He's a human; I'm a quarian she had said. We're just too different. The fact that Shepard had actually wanted to reciprocate on that feeling was certainly an interesting new development, and bode well for their relationship. But Garrus certainly wasn't about to let Shepard know that. He still wanted to punish Shepard for causing him to spill his drink.

`What's so special about Tali anyway? Garrus asked

Shepard shrugged.

`It's the hips, isn't it? Garrus grinned.

Shepard looked shocked. `No, Garrus! ` Then his gaze softened. `Well, maybe just a little. `

`Or could it be the accent? ` Garrus was determined to punish Shepard some more.

Shepard gave Garrus a look.

`Seriously, Garrus. `

Garrus held up his hands. `Okay, try this for seriousness. How are you sure that she likes you back? `

Shepard shifted and wrung his hands together. `I don't know, Garrus. But I really do want to. It'll give me some peace, at least. `

`So, ` Garrus motioned with a talon, `go tell her. She would want to hear it from your mouth anyway. It'll be great to, what was that human expression? Lay your cards on the table? `

Shepard grimaced. `Yeah, I suppose so. But what am I supposed to say? I've never done anything remotely like this before. `

Garrus` eyes widened. `What? Why not? You were pretty close to Ashley back on the original Normandy. `

`She died, Garrus. Remember? ` Shepard paused. `Anyway, whatever happened between us wasn't serious. We didn't even do `it`. `

Garrus rolled his eyes. `Someday, Shepard, you'll find out that love isn't always about sex. `

`I know, Garrus. I'm not going to be like that. Especially not to Tali. `

`Anyway, coming back to the subject at hand, I still think you should talk to Tali. I assure you; at the very least she will appreciate your thoughts. Be frank, you know. `

`Thanks Garrus. That was really informative. ` replied Shepard sarcastically.

Garrus scowled. `Well what did you expect me to do, give you a script? This isn't Fleet and Flotilla. This is real, Shepard. `

`Yeah, as if I needed more reminders of that. `

Garrus gave himself a good long stretch and another sip of turian coffee before continuing patiently. `Like I said, go talk to her. I mean, what's the worst that could happen? `

`She takes offence, gets pissed and unleashes her little drone with the weird name on me. `

The last of Garrus' patience ebbed away.

`Just tell her! ` he hissed, and pointed at the door.

`Thanks, I'll remember this. ` Shepard muttered as he backed to the door. Pushing the door release button, he stepped through and left.

Garrus turned back to his terminal, a half-grin on his face. If he knew Shepard, he wouldn't have any hard feelings over their talk. What was more, Garrus was fairly sure that if Shepard did go to see Tali, it wouldn't end too violently. Garrus wasn't a people person, but it had always been blatantly obvious that Tali had always liked Shepard, and that everyone but Shepard had been able to see it. Some members of the crew were even holding bets on the exact date that the both of them would get together.

_Loks like I'll have to place my bet soon_. Garrus thought as he dug in his pocket for a credit chit and headed for the door.

(Jackpot's all mine.)


	2. Chapter 2

_Thank you to all those who have read my story so far. I managed to solve the little issue with the quotation marks. Just for hilarity I made Tali take the lead in the romance, instead of Shepard (the game had Shepard lead the romance, which, frankly, i didn't like). Hope you enjoy this next chapter._

Kasumi

Kasumi stretched comfortably as she sat on her favorite part of her couch. Stifling a yawn, her thoughts soon drifted back to the man named Jacob Taylor, just one level above her on the Normandy. As she studied her nails, she was just thinking about how to approach the stoic man when her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the Port observation door opening.

"Tali? What are you doing here?"

`Sorry Kasumi, but this is really urgent, "Tali wrung her hands, `it's about Shepard."

Kasumi sat up. "What's wrong? Is he okay?"

Tali shook her hands. `No, nothing like that. I just wanted to talk to you about the fact that Shepard… seems to like me a lot. `

(My God, is there anyone on this ship that is still single anymore? First Garrus and Kelly, and then Kenneth and Gabby and now Shepard and Tali?)

Outwardly, Kasumi's expression was unchanged. `Go on. `

Tali began to bounce on her toes, an activity Kasumi knew Shepard found cute. "Well, just about a couple of hours ago, Shepard, um, tried to flirt with me."

Kasumi held up a hand. "And let me guess. You ran away screaming?"

Tali nodded. "Sort of."

Kasumi snapped her fingers. "Knew it. So, what can I do for you?"

`Well, seeing as you are the master of gossip on this ship (Kasumi blushed), I was hoping that you would have some information on how Shepard feels about me. `

Kasumi held up her hand again. "But do you feel the same way back to him? I really want to know before I tell you."

Tali shifted her weight from one foot to the other, before nodding.

Kasumi smiled. "Well, why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I know you would just spread it around the ship."

"What makes you think that I wouldn't just spread it now anyway?"

"Because if you do tell me what Shepard feels, and he does feel the same way, I am going to make it public anyway."

Kasumi nodded. "You made your point." Leaning back, she considered what she had to say to Tali. Kasumi did indeed know that Shepard was attracted to his quarian engineer through an off-hand comment he had made to her back on Haestrom.

(What had he said?)

(He had told me about how it would feel like to hold Tali in his arms and comfort her about the loss of the people under her command.)

(Mmmm… That's pretty convincing proof.)

Kasumi turned her eyes back to Tali, who was now apprehensively staring at Kasumi and rubbing her hands together. Looking at that sight, Kasumi could not help but relent.

"Yeah, Tali. He did mention that he liked you. But do you want some advice? It's free."

Tali was visibly excited at her words. But she managed to calm down sufficiently to reply. "Go on."

Kasumi stared right at where she guessed Tali`s eyes would be. "I can't say for sure what Shepard feels. But I would strongly advise you to wait. If the feeling is real between the both of you, I guarantee that Shepard will approach you first. "

Tali stared at her. "And how do you know that? "she asked.

Kasumi gave a sneaky grin. "Trust me; I am very good at reading people. Comes with the job. "

Tali smiled. "Thanks Kasumi! "she said as she turned around to leave, a visible lightness in her steps.

* * *

><p>Shepard<p>

Shepard shook his head as he punched the elevator for engineering. He was still reeling over his conversation with Garrus, and he still could not believe what he was about to do.

(Damn it, what's taking this lift so bloody long?)

(Are you sure about what you are going to do, Shepard?)

Shepard tried to collect his thoughts.

(No, not at all. But Garrus is right. I can't delay this any longer. She deserves to know, at the very least. And if she does try to kill me, well, I can't say that I didn't live my life to the fullest, can I?)

(Don't even joke like that.)

As the moniter on the lift showed that the cab was on its way to engineering, Shepard tried to psyche himself into what he was about to do.

(Slow, deep breaths. Don't forget what Kelly told you about Tali. About how she wants to be more than just friends. Kelly can't be wrong, can she?)

Fortified by his thoughts, Shepard stepped out of the lift with a new sense of purpose. He confidently strode around the corner…

and ran right into Tali. His confidence died as quickly as it had started.

"Oh, hi Shepard! I didn't see there. " Tali said in her typical cheery voice.

(Pardon me, but does she seem cheerier than usual?)

(Shut up. Don't ruin this for me.)

"Oh, hi there Tali! I didn't see you there, " Shepard stuttered, "I was just looking for you. Listen, can I talk to you for a minute? "

Tali rubbed her hands together. "Sure, what about? "

"It's about, um, what I told you at the Mess hall three hours ago. Remember? " Shepard braced himself for the inevitable manifestation of a certain purple hologram.

Tali looked at him for what felt like an hour, before grabbing his arm and hauling him off to the Normandy's mass effect core.

"This isn't a conversation we should be having in the middle of the corridor, Shepard. "said Tali as she dragged a helpless Commander Shepard behind her.

The Normandy's mass effect core was silent and deserted, as always. No one other than Kenneth and Gabby really found the need to stand in the core and watch a giant ball vibrate. But for Tali and Shepard, both found the silence very welcome for their present situation.

Tali set her Commander in front of her, and placed her hands on her hips. Shepard was by now sweating slightly and cursing Garrus with the foulest words he knew.

Seeing that she wasn`t going to get a response from the near catatonic Shepard, Tali decided to speak first.

"So, Shepard, you wanted to speak to me about our little `incident`?"

Shepard nodded. "I just wanted to know if you are okay with what I said. I didn't mean to hurt you or anything."

Tali waved her hand. "No Shepard, you don't have to ever worry about hurting me with what you said. In fact, I was kind of hoping that you would come by today."

Shepard was taken aback. "R…really? What for?"

Tali gave Shepard a coy smile. "I wanted to know if you really meant what you said. About finding me cute."

Shepard gave a sheepish grin. "Heh, heh. Um, well, to be honest, yes, I really do find you cute."

"Well, admittedly, so do I."

(I'll be damned. It's true. Kelly needs a pay rise)

(Don't forget Garrus too!)

But all semblance of coherent thought that Shepard possessed was whipped away when Tali seized hold of both of Shepard's hands and held them in her own. Shepard could only stare, transfixed.

Tali grinned. "Wow, the great Commander Shepard is for once at a loss for words!"

"For you, Tali, of course."

Tali's smiled. "Since when did you become interested in me, Shepard?"

Shepard considered. "Ever since you first came aboard the original Normandy. I could remember the times when I stayed awake, thinking about you. And the last thought I had before I died was how I would never be able to see you again. And I never thought something like this would ever happen…until now. You are my dream, Tali, and I don't ever want to wake up."

Tali stared at him.

Shepard winced "Okay, I know the last line was really bad, but…"

Shepard froze up in shock as Tali linked her arms behind his back and pulled him into a hug. His thoughts all collapsed and the only thing Shepard could bring himself to do was stroke her back gently. From within her mask Shepard thought he could hear sobs.

"You have no idea how much I missed you too, Shepard. The two years after you died were absolutely the worst in my life. No one could comfort my anguish. The only thing that would put me out of my misery was death…or your return. And you did return."

Shepard smiled. "Looks like you have the Illusive man to thank, after all."

Tali sniffed and gave a tearful smile. "Don't worry. I'll send him a thank-you gift."

They stood in that position for a while longer, each enjoying the other's touch, until Tali broke the silence.

"So what does this mean? Are we together?"

Shepard smiled. "Yes, Tali. We are."

Tali's voice grew coy. "You know, I've always wanted to see how you look like under that shirt."

Shepard's eyes widened. "Oh! Um, I could show you if you want. Right now!" He grinned.

Tali gave Shepard a light smack on the chest. "Not now, you silly Bosh'tet. In time. When I am ready, I will come to you. You should get ready, too.

Shepard had never felt so elated in his life. Holding each other's hands, they slowly walked out of engineering, not noticing as Garrus and Kasumi, hiding behind a wall, high-fived each other and began collecting credit chits from other forlorn members of the crew.

* * *

><p>Mordin<p>

Mordin was busy, as usual, on a bunch of samples collected from the Collector base, now an atomized bunch of particles floating in deep space. Setting down his miniature microscope, Mordin activated his Omni-tool and began busily typing away about his latest findings. So engrossed was he, in his work that he did not notice the door to the lab opening.

"Interesting samples. Proves that Collectors are indeed directly controlled by Harbinger. Interesting. Need more samples to confirm results. Oh, wait, have samples. Good."

"Mordin? Do you have any time?"

Mordin looked up. "Oh, hello Shepard. Didn't hear you come in. What do you need?"

"I need to talk to you. About Tali."

Mordin nodded knowingly. "Oh yes, Common knowledge aboard Normandy now."

"Beg pardon?"

"You and Tali. Common knowledge. Everyone knows now."

Shepard scowled. "When I find out who did that…"

Mordin gave a smile. "Didn't think you came here to rant about love life. What do you need?"

Shepard shifted uncomfortably. "I wanted to know if you have any, um, pointers about the both of us doing, you know, it."

"Please specify."

"You know what I mean, Mordin. Just tell me if you can give me any help."

Mordin began rooting through a stack of papers. "Relationship between human and quarian unusual. Might have something here that will interest you." Finally, after a few minutes of searching, Mordin held up a small booklet.

"What's that?"

"Little book on interspecies relationships. Wrote it myself. Thought it might interest you. Contains all the information you could ever need. Will also forward several vids regarding quarian physiology to your cabin. Strongly recommend you watch them."

Shepard coughed. "Um, it isn't porn, is it?"

Mordin looked shocked. "Would never do such a thing! Those vids are not pornography, they are educational videos!"

Shepard laughed. "I'm sure they are, Mordin. Is there anything else I should know?"

"Yes, Shepard. Consummating relationship with Tali`Zorah will require large amounts of immuno-boosters. Have some with me now, and am sure that Tali`Zorah has some too. But it is not enough. You have to go to the Citadel and purchase some, Shepard."

"What? Can't I purchase it through the extranet?"

"Immuno-boosters restricted items. Must turn up in person for purchase."

"But then everyone will know about our relationship!" Shepard wailed.

Mordin shrugged.

Shepard groaned. _Great, just great._


End file.
